This 5 letter word seems small, yet it’s of great value and importance. For some, it’s even hard to say it out due to pride; they feel like their self-esteem has been brought down. Some feel like they are showing a sign of weakness by admitting their wrongdoing as asking for forgiveness. This is not true at all!! Saying I’m sorry is not a sign of weakness. Even though you may feel like your self-esteem has been stripped momentarily, apologizing has very good effects. Saying sorry has the power to soothe and mend the heart, reconcile the greatest of enemies, and melt the block of bitterness and uneasiness. It breaks down the walls of hatred and resentment that are built in someone’s heart. It helps the heart to open up to forgiveness and love once again. Sorry is not just a mere word; it is a significant part of the healing process.
Every year on 26 May in Australia, they celebrate the National Sorry Day. The first National Sorry Day was held on 26 May in 1998. The Australian government had a policy that caused the removal of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children from their families and placing them in care elsewhere. This annual commemoration is done to help in raising awareness among the politicians, the ones in charge of policymaking and the general public at large about the removal policies and their terrible implications to the families and the children. On 1 February 2008, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd made a formal apology to the Stolen Generations on behalf of the parliaments which had inflicted these laws, which brought so much grief, sorrow and painful suffering to the affected families and children. Now they celebrate this day by having reconciliation marches, Sorry Day flag raising, concerts and barbecues and many other things.
When I heard about this National Sorry Day, I was curious to know the story behind it. I applaud those who started these commemorations more than 20 years ago. Some wounds may still run deep in the stolen generations but saying sorry has a way of bringing people together and start to mend the wounded and grieved hearts of the afflicted.
This commemoration made me think deeply about how important apologizing is. Saying sorry lifts up the feeling of guilt and self-condemnation on the side of the wrongdoer, and it is a start to the road of self-improvement. For the wronged, hearing those words helps them get back their dignity and start their journey of self-healing. Never feel too proud to apologize to someone for doing them wrong; it takes genuine compassion and humility to truly say I’m sorry.
Forgiveness is good; as much as it sets the wrongdoer free, it also sets you free. Harbouring unforgiveness can make the heart grow bitter and resentment to have deep roots inside of you. I always think of unforgiveness as having a rock tied around your leg or your neck. It drags and slows you down; it does more harm than good to you. The more you get bitter, the more it becomes heavy and threatens to drown or pull you down. So by accepting the apology and truly forgiving, you’re also committing yourself to remove that heavy burden on your shoulder. For the wrongdoer, not saying sorry is like putting yourself in a cage or jail cell. Until you apologize, you remain locked up in that cell, maybe due to pride or some other reasons you may have for refusing to say sorry. By saying I’m sorry, you free yourself too and remove the walls of guilt, shame and condemnation closing in on you. Apologizing is a way of showing that we own up to our mistakes and take responsibility for our actions. It validates the feelings of the person who has been wronged; in a sense, it gives power to the hurt and makes them feel like they are worth something.
When I was reading about the National Sorry Day, it made me ask myself these questions. Is there anyone I have hurt and have not said sorry to? Are there mistakes or actions I have made that hurt someone else that I haven’t taken responsibility for? Are there any hurts I’m still holding on to? Do I have someone I have not yet forgiven? Just like the Australians did, let’s also do the same in our lives and apologize for the wrongs we have done. Sorry may not completely take the pain away the moment it’s said but it kick starts the journey to self-healing. Refuse to live in the past by not saying sorry or holding on to past hurts. Choose to live in the present by saying you’re sorry and giving true forgiveness. Why not just say you’re sorry and free yourself to be able to live in the present free of anything that might want to drag you down. Choose to heal, choose to say sorry.
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