When life hits different in the moment, the volume of tears speaks louder. I once had an unspoken love for someone. Call it confusion or madness, but I deeply loved my sister despite never getting a chance to meet her. I wait for the afterlife, where we will reunite.
I honestly had no zeal to write this month, but when I was informed about the theme of relating building materials to life lessons, I decided to write something about cementing relationships. I also told myself that it was time to let it out.
It was not easy for me to open up for this chapter had already been closed, but sharing is not a bad thing. A lesson learned is an achievement. My sister passed on before I could see her and I felt betrayed in a way. If only she were alive, I would have been the happiest. By now, she should be thirty-two, glowing and all, but it’s all uncemented love. Sometimes we often forget the reason we live and focus on our loss more. Which love is uncemented, you might ask? It is that love you show when one is gone rather than when they were still alive, a love proven at the grave point.
I often notice people crying, posting eulogies, and grieving differently when one is gone. Yet, for some, the love was hardly expressed when the soul was still alive. Why can’t we do so when we still have the chance to do so? For us to build a house, many things are required. We need a plan, the materials, and most importantly, the builders. Which one are you among these? Are you among the builders that raise the building right from the foundation till it’s established? Or are you the planners who only know the planning and allocation of certain building parts but cannot go further? Which one are you exactly?
Do you find it hard to say I love you to your mother while she is alive? Do you?
Are you waiting for her to die first to cement the love? We would rather respect the dead more than the living; we wait for the house to go down than mend the cracks. A relationship is supposed to be a two-way tune—it’s more than just a connection; it’s a soul feeler. I never had a chance with my sister, it’s like she was stolen from me, but also, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. I choose to let love heal.
How then can the love be strong when one is dead or expired?
Look after your building while you still have it. Learn to cement your relationships as much as you can. Imagine how you throw away a flower when it dries up, but at some point, you once loved it. If you have the opportunity to love someone, be it your parents, friends, or anyone, be cemented and sure of the love you show to them rather than waiting for them to leave earth first. Don’t let that love remain unspoken or uncemented.
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