At one point or another in life, you will go through an unusual experience, which you’ll either term pleasant or unpleasant (what others may term suffering), but how do you determine whether an experience was pleasant or unpleasant? What is that measuring rod we use to determine if an experience was great or regrettable? If this measuring rod is not established, we’ll end up regretting great experiences not because they were regrettable but because we couldn’t tell.
In a live interview, a great man was asked, “If there is anything you could go back and change in your past, what would it be?” Well, that drew my attention and I listened inquisitively expecting him to mention that one thing he wished he could have done differently just as I had many things in my past that I wish I could have changed. To my surprise, his answer was “nothing.” Oh, he couldn’t be serious I thought. “Why do you say so?” the host asked the question for me. His response was profound, he said, “There’s nothing in my past I wish to change because all that I’ve been through including the mistakes I’ve made have contributed to who I am, if I went back and changed one single thing I probably wouldn’t be worthy to be on this show.” I had a eureka moment. This changed my approach to life experiences, it’s not what you go through or how you go through it that matters, it’s who you are, what you have become when you are through. From that eureka moment, I came out with a measuring rod as a proxy for measuring whether an experience was a great one or regrettable. The only challenge with this rod is that you can’t use it when you are going through the experience but when you are through with the experience. This is my approach to all life circumstances, that which I can’t enjoy I will endure because there’s more to life beyond the obvious, there’s more to an experience, don’t limit your interpretation of events to the present, life is eternal and so is death. I’ll give you an example, people who were born in poverty have emerged as either popper beggars or criminals, and yet the same poverty has produced some of the richest and most influential members of our society. Similar experiences, opposite outcomes. The difference between the two was approach or attitude towards the experience, the former took it as a suffering experience and viewed himself as a victim of life circumstances. On the other hand, the one who emerged rich out of poverty viewed poverty as a teacher who would never leave until he/she got what it was trying to teach, so they learnt all they could instead of having a pity party. John Maxwell wrote a book titled “Sometimes you win sometimes you learn,” what an attitude towards life, someone probably read that as sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, that’s because that has been our approach to life, we think if we didn’t win we lost but it’s not so if you didn’t win it means you just had another lesson towards winning. Many are wasting efforts trying to change the circumstances around them, some even go further trying to change the people around them, yet what they need to change is how they see things. Life is 10% events and 90% interpretation. Do the math, which variable when changed would bring about a significant alteration, the 10% or the 90%? I’ll give you another approach to life experiences that will change how you see things. Life is a test/a trial, an examination. Whenever you go through life circumstances, know that you are being tested for the next level of life. When you apply for a superior position, your application for that position may be accepted but immediately after the acceptance of your application is a test to prove if you are worthy of that position. It is the same way when you pray for something, your prayer is answered but before delivery, there’s a test to prove if you will be able to handle it. The good thing about the test of life is that it does not only prove but it also reveals. This is not a test that you pass or fail, it’s a test to prove yourself or to reveal yourself to yourself. This mindset will caution you to be mindful of how you respond to people and circumstances, instead of thinking you are being delayed you might as well look at it as a test of your patience when proved you will then have in your life all the things that the patient deserve. Remember this, the best is for the patient and the rest is for the rest. If you did not display patience in a recent experience, remember the test was there to prove or reveal, you might not have proved to be patient but you sure had a revelation of what you need to work on because there will always be a resit exam. With such an attitude towards life, you won’t easily give up on anything or anyone. Just look at your recent or present experience, what was/is being tested, was/is it your patience, love, or your motive? I assure you, your motives will be tested more frequently than anything else because motives change and we might not even know our motives changed unless tested. There are traits in our personality we will never know until we are tested, and life experiences are there to prove or reveal. At this moment I implore you to reflect on all your life experiences, what became of you after the experience, what did you learn, what were you being tested for? If you can answer these questions you might be able to tell why some experiences keep on recurring in your life. Could it be an exam you have to pass and life is giving you resit exams? It’s time to use the measuring rod. The experience you thought was unpleasant was it unpleasant or it’s what gave you depth for your height and roots for your fruits.
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