When one considers growth, more often than not, they look at the huge bounds and leaps that are quite evident to onlookers. That, of course, is a perfectly natural reaction; it’s very hard to focus on the minute and barely noticeable changes that happen during the process that results in the manifestation of said growth... I’m often puzzled as to why though. You see, when I look at growth, I look at it from a very rational viewpoint, which is beginnings, that which sparked the drive to change, maturation, which I’m inclined to describe as the act of growing, and the result, which is what becomes apparent to all upon attainment. There’s a fourth step, too, but we’ll get to that a bit later.
For growth to occur, whether physical, emotional, or spiritual, a seed is sown, which starts the whole process. In my own life, the seed that laid the groundwork for my emotional growth was a realization that certain character traits, which before had been lauded and welcomed by my peers, were adversely affecting my outlook on life and breeding a toxic environment within the confines of my friendships. This realization was the seed that would start a whole journey towards emotional maturity, but more importantly, I needed to plant the seed for it to be of any benefit to me. After all, having the seeds of a fruit tree will not transform them into fruit unless you plant them. Perhaps we can use that as the moral of the first step towards growth; beyond realizing that you need to change something and develop yourself, take the initiative and put a plan in place to tackle how you will go about it.
With that in mind, let us look at the how of it, the follow through, which brings about maturation from seed to seedling and on and on. The actual act of growing can be quite enjoyable, as you make changes in your life which make you better than you were. Conversely, it can be very dirty and draining, beleaguered with many setbacks, and an abject lack of desire and or discipline to enforce the projected plan. It is where you now need to dig deep and uproot certain traits that may not be conducive to the growth of the seedling that you have planted. It could be a bad habit or a bad relationship (romantic or otherwise). It could mean extracting yourself from your norms and starting afresh.
For me, it pretty much was precisely that, I had to cut out a lot of things and people from my life to give myself adequate distance to objectively adjudicate my various perspectives. How you perceive something has a bearing on how you affirmatively believe in something, define it, or comprehend it, which may not be the truth of what is being perceived, not especially from proximity to said object. By distancing myself from a lot, I could objectively identify things that spurred me onwards towards growth and things, people, vices, which were weighing me down. Sometimes you go back to your old ways. Sometimes the seedling is overrun and seemingly choked by weeds that obstruct the much needed rays of enlightenment that nourish the growth. Sometimes the ground is parched, and you feel emotionally thirsty without the strength to carry on. Sometimes you will need a true friend, a reliable someone you can always look to for help and comfort, or a kick up the derriere as a reminder of where you want to go.
Whether it is all sunshine and rainbows or thunder and dark clouds, you need to follow through and implement your plans. It would be best if you do something about your realization to benefit from your eureka moment. I staunchly believe that each of those small victories against yourself constitutes the greater part of growth and not the result in itself.
All the same, the result is the manifestation of one’s growth and serves as the reward of one’s bitterness, not limited to, of course, struggles. This is what many perceive after all the initial and maturation processes have run their course. At the end of it all, you are a different person, very often many people can notice this change be it attitudinal or emotional, perhaps even physical or spiritual. Whichever the case(s) is or are for you, I say kudos to you for not giving up and following through. However, is that the end of it all? Is there an upper ceiling to the heights of one’s personal growth? Can you be mature in all respects and at all times? That would be quite interesting if it were possible, but I’m yet to come across such a specimen myself. The fourth and final step is becoming aware that growth isn’t a destination; it’s a never-ending journey. Even at the heights of one’s growth, there’s always something you can better on yourself and something you can continually strive for.
Don’t stop growing, and don’t cap the potential of your possible improvement. Stay open to opportunities to make positive developments in your life, and be welcome to receive criticism. It is through honest and non-malicious critical analysis from well-wishers and friends that can often help us introspect and ignite the flames of growth within us.
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