lf you have assumed a character below your strength, you have both acted in this matter, in an unbecoming way, and you have neglected that which you might have fulfilled.” —Epictetus
The world is one big stage, and life is one big play with billions and billions of subscripts performed by billions and billions of characters. Instead of living their lives with deliberate intention, by design, some people are acted upon, controlled by external factors, like other character’s actions and opinions, controlled by their self-sabotaging behavior, and more often than not, they approach the end of their story without reaching their peak potential, worse off, without ever discovering what that potential is.
But is it possible to be the writer, editor, producer, and actor of your script, your own story? Of course! Jim Rohn, one of the best coaches on Personal Development, said, “You can have more than you got because you can become more than you are.” That is, unless you change how you are, you will always have what you got. Well said. So, before we get to the how, let’s look at why it’s of utmost importance that you read beyond here.
The problem starts at the transition from adolescence to adulthood. The truth is growing up is no walk in the park. It often takes away all the innocence, the comfort, and the self, and it certainly doesn’t come with a wisdom package. If it did, I didn’t get it. The growing pains can be experienced at a much greater intensity when we fail to transition right. That means we don’t take the time to map out the kind of person we hope to be from evaluating the current person we are. When we don’t take time to create new paradigms, new road maps, new principles, new hobbies, and a new character, we let the external factors, our surrounding conditionings, shape us into adults who have no clue what exactly they stand for, adults who lack a sense of identity. Suppose we are not cognizant of these external factors. In that case, we will be unknowingly shaped into addicts or slaves to our vices, men or women prone to act on the whiff of an impulse, be it anger, greed, excessive expenditure to list a few of the character abnormalities that may occur when we allow the external environment to fashion us. In life, we often make mistakes. It’s ok not to get it right the first time. After all, you learn to do it right by doing it wrong first.
The key, however, is not to take too long doing the wrong thing. If you have done it wrong the past ten, twenty, or thirty years, I suggest that’s long enough.
However, you got to learn from your mistakes; otherwise, what are you doing? Now the first and most important thing to do to improve your circumstance is to work on yourself, your character. It’s often the case that many of us are so keen to change our lives for the better, but we coordinate time, effort, and habit to accomplish the exact opposite. YOU CAN NOT improve or grow anything around you if you can not improve or grow yourself first.
You can do many things to develop yourself spiritually, physically, and or financially, but I’m going to share a few. The first thing is not to work on your character (that comes after), but it is to DECIDE to go to work on your character. You simply can not get better results at something you were compelled by someone to do, something you aren’t interested in. You have to want to do it, not have someone want it for you. So, instead of falling prey to our vices and the victim mentality, we can CHOOSE TO TAKE CHARGE. That’s it. By any means necessary, find out what you’re capable of doing, and all the more so, who you are capable of being. Write it all down. Now you might not yet have all the resources, the time, or the discipline you need to do all you find out, but at least find out ALL you can do, who you can be. Wouldn’t you want to know? Though discovering what you can do and eventually doing it, the whole process is not that easy, and you might not enjoy it. True that as it may, you don’t have to enjoy or love the process, but you should learn it, how it goes. Make sure you get the information. What you think about it, that’s up to you. What you do with it, again that’s soon going to be up to you, but make sure you get it. Learn to get on the good side of the way things work.
The second thing you can do is something we can learn from Greek philosophy. Epictetus, a Greek philosopher, said, “First say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do.” He couldn’t have said it any better. Once we decide to work on ourselves, then comes the task to find out the sort of PERSON YOU NEED TO BE to achieve all we can do and to eventually be the person of value. Who do you need to become? What virtues or values do you need to adopt? What habits or vices do you need to let go of? Again write it all down. There’s a saying which goes, ‘You can’t sleep like you’re competing with the dead and expect to make it in the land of the living’. Well said. You can’t be a procrastinator and hope to improve your circumstance, for whatever you need to do to get ahead, it’s always going to be put on for tomorrow, and the chorus of that tune will forever be ‘Tomorrow’. It’s not in your best interest to be a Tomorrow-man. So figure out who you need to become or unbecome; however it is for your case. Once you get that figured out, now is the time to put in place the day in, day out routines. At this point, focus only on things within your control, that is, yourself, your attitude, your actions, and your paradigms. Motiv8 Do not let the external factors or things outside your control push you into a corner. These are often other people’s opinions, attitudes, actions, and even the weather. Jim Rohn once gave a short story on one of his training programs about two salesmen who woke up to bad weather one day.
One got up, saw the weather, and said to himself, “It’s raining cats and dogs outside; they can’t really expect me to go out and make sales with this weather.” The other got up, saw the weather, and said, “It’s a beautiful day to go and makes sales, probably everybody will be at home, especially the salesmen.” As funny as that story is, you notice how the other salesman didn’t allow the weather (something that wasn’t under his control) to stop him from doing what he was supposed to do. Instead, he saw it as an opportunity to make more sales (something that was under his control). He was even smart enough to realize that his competitor would be at home just like everybody else because of the bad weather. Smart man. The bottom line is that opportunity might present itself when you become everything you need to achieve your goals, when you learn to act, rather than being acted upon by life’s weathers.
Lastly, you obviously know so many successful and principled people. You might even look up to some. Why not make a thorough study of these individuals who embody the life you want. What challenges did they encounter? How did they surpass them? What are their routines? How did they master their vices? You can ask plenty of questions, and the answers to those questions are your very own stepping stone. Bill Gates, Elon Musk, and Oprah Winfrey (to name a few) became rich, successful, and influentially through improving themselves by everything, following certain principles and virtues, and not taking no for an answer. We know this because if they had been anything less than they are now, there wouldn’t be Microsoft, Tesla, or The Oprah Show. Though you are not yet a Gates, or a Musk or a Winfrey, you ought, however, to live as one seeking to be a Gates, a Musk, or a Winfrey. You can even find a personal mentor, and you don’t have to have just one. You can have a spiritual mentor, financial mentor, and so on. It is a wonderful gift to have someone show you the way. Now that you have this information, what’s next? Spare no second. Those values/virtues/habits you’ve set for yourself, abide by them, and act as if breaking them will violate a law in which the punishment is unpleasant. Set that punishment yourself. Something you dread, something that makes you squirm. Also, as I mentioned earlier, establish routines and stick to them religiously. You will get more of these virtues and routines from the study of many successful people.
Whether your life story is going to be the best selling blockbuster of your time or of all time sorely depends on you. So get ready to give a stellar performance and while you at it, start window shopping for your suit to the Oscars and start working on that winner’s speech because you are going to shelf that Oscar. For certain, you can write, direct, edit, produce and act your life story. Get busy with all these roles, and when you master them, you can master anything. Live your life with intention, by design, not by default. Act and do not be acted upon. If all these ideas seem hard, then do it hard. If they seem easy, do it easy. However, it is, get it done!
“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story; leave!” —Mo Willem
Comments